There is a debate happening right now. What’s the appropriate response to the stresses of the pandemic? Some say you should be reading a library, starting a side business, and mastering theoretical physicals otherwise you lack discipline. Others are saying we shouldnt judge those blaming the quarantine for eating junk, drinking too much, laying around in their pajamas all day, getting fat, and everything under the sun. There is actually a balance.
We need to do what we can, avoid the BS, and keep moving forward.
We need a little healthy judgement AND we need compassion. One without the other is harmful. They both work best when applied to yourself and are difficult to effectively apply to others. Too much judgement, particularly from others, and no compassion just beats people down. I think most people get that. The problem with the all compassion approach is that “compassion” without a little bit of wisdom based judgement easily turns into enabling things that make everything worse. There is nothing compassionate about enabling destructive behavior. It means you don’t even care about that person or yourself enough to say you or they deserve better.
Okay enough about the problem. Let’s talk about solutions. How do we press forward productively?
All you need to do each day is choose “a little better” instead of “a little worse”. That’s it. Even cooler, it can be whatever you decide that means based on how you are feeling. This is all by your own definition. We all have a choice each day, pandemic or not, as to whether we’d like to end the day a little stronger or a little weaker.
What is a little better based on your own definition? It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Let your own intuition guide you. Right now some days are going to be more productive than others.
If you feel like you are having a hard time choosing the little slice of better you decided on, exercise a little compassion and set your sights a little lower and more attainable. Negotiate with yourself. If you are really in a deep pit of depression, the smaller the better. The point is to just rack up some small wins and that builds your momentum. A couple years ago I had a period of major depression that lasted months. I often had a really hard time getting or staying out of bed. For at least two weeks I focused solely on taking a multivitamin with a full glass of water. That was my better. Some days I also got work done, worked out, etc but other days I didn’t have any of that in me and I still just took the multi and drank the water. I built it from there.
It doesn’t matter how small you need to make your better. Just make it small enough that you can move towards it. Sometimes, choosing not to make things worse is a worthy enough goal for a while. This is where some healthy self reflection and a little smart self judgement comes in. Choosing to slam a bottle of booze on a weeknight is definitely going to make things worse. There is nothing wrong with “judging” that you, and the people around you, deserve better than that.
We can make our “better” whatever we want and we can make it as small as we need to, but we don’t get to throw in the towel and make shitty choices. Again I mean shitty choices based on your own standards. The problem with the junk food, the booze, and the BS isn’t what others think. It’s what YOU think about it and what you think about yourself after. Even when it’s hard you have to stay away from choices that make you feel smaller. Making ONE choice that makes you feel the tiniest bit bigger is the best way to do that. Little wins add up. Pennies make dimes. Dimes make dollars.
There is a balance between crippling guilt and accepting destructive behavior. Meet yourself where you are. Set your sights where you need to so you can hit your target. Stay away from things that make things worse. You deserve better. The people around you who care about you want better for you. The people around you who count on you deserve the better you. Aim for something better, and take the shot. No guilt, no enabling, just move forward. You got this!
If you need any help moving your body, eating well, getting decent sleep, hydrating, or staying positive, book a call with me and we can set some goals and make a plan. BOOK HERE.
